Walking Away from a Toxic Relationship
Being in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic tendencies can feel like riding an emotional rollercoaster—thrilling and euphoric at first, but quickly disorienting and deeply painful.
At the beginning, you’re everything to them—the love of their life, the answer to their prayers, the best thing that’s ever happened to them. It feels magical. But over time, you begin to notice that nothing you do is ever quite right. Even when you repeat a behavior they once praised, their reaction shifts. What once made them proud now sparks anger or disappointment. The rules constantly change, and you’re the one always falling short.
You give them everything—your laughter, your loyalty, your love—and they take it all. In return, they offer just enough to keep you hanging on. A compliment here. A tender moment there. And it feels like enough, because your heart is so desperate for connection, for approval, for love.
But slowly, your sense of self begins to erode. You start to believe what they say: that you’re the problem, that you’re too much or not enough, that you’re the reason it always falls apart. You feel confused, hurt, and alone—and worst of all, you start to believe you deserve it.
I walked this path for years. I stayed because I thought that kind of love—conditional and manipulative—was all I deserved. It took the voices of brave, kind, patient friends to help me see clearly. Without them, I’m not sure I ever would’ve had the courage to leave.
If you’re reading this and someone you love is in a relationship like this, be patient. Be kind. Keep showing up with unconditional love. Chances are, they’ve never experienced that kind of safety before.
And if you’re reading this and this sounds like your relationship—I want you to hear this clearly:
You are worthy.
You are valuable.
You are not too much, and you are not to blame.
Sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is walk away from what is breaking us—even when it’s familiar, even when it feels like love. Healing may be slow, but freedom is worth the fight. And there is life—full, beautiful, wholehearted life—on the other side.