To The Girl Who Is Waiting

I recently had a work event that was an all girls conference. I had some really sweet conversations with these girls, and one topic kept coming up over and over: dating.

I heard so many stories of girls longing for marriage, longing to be in a relationship, and shaping their choices and priorities around the possibility of “finding their husband.”

I’ve also had a few conversations lately about not settling in a relationship just for the sake of being in one. One girl told me about the guy she was dating saying he’s good here, he’s fine there but there wasn’t any spark in her voice. So I asked her, Why are y’all still together? She said, Well, because I love him.

So then I asked, What do you love about him? And she paused. She had a hard time coming up with an answer that went deeper than surface level qualities. That opened the door for us to talk about something I think is really important, does she truly love him, or does she love the security and validation she feels from being in a relationship with him?

Here’s the thing: I know being single can be hard. I’m not here to downplay that ache. But I will say this, being in a relationship with someone who is not your husband, someone who is not God’s best for you, can be even harder.

Singleness is not a waiting room where your life is on pause until a guy shows up. Your worth, your purpose, and your joy don’t hinge on a relationship status. A man doesn’t complete you. Jesus does.(Colossians 2:10).

So to the girl who’s waiting, I want to say: Don’t settle for just fine. Don’t cling to someone just because you’re afraid of being alone. Use this season to grow in your relationship with the Lord, to learn who you are in Him, and to trust that He knows exactly what and who you need and when you need it.

God’s timing is never late. His plans are never second-best. And His love for you is not dependent on whether there’s a ring on your finger.