When Stress Creeps in
There are seasons when life feels steady. When I can see clearly how far God has brought me, how much healing and growth has taken place, and how different I am from the girl I used to be. There is a sense of strength and peace that comes from knowing God more deeply and believing what He says about me. I look back and barely recognize who I once was.
But then a long week comes. Stress piles up. A single comment lands wrong or a moment of uncertainty creeps in. Suddenly the ground beneath me shifts and the confidence I have carefully built with the Lord starts to feel fragile again. My thoughts slip into extremes. I convince myself that everyone is disappointed in me or frustrated with me. In my mind, things are either all good or all bad. There is no in between, no space for grace or nuance.
It is a familiar voice. A voice that used to be loud every single day.
There was a time when I questioned everything about myself. I rarely spoke up because I believed my opinions did not carry weight. I needed reassurance at every turn. I let others decide who I was because I did not believe I had the authority to speak the truth about myself. I spent so much energy trying to earn a sense of worth I already had in Christ.
God has done a lot of work in me since then. It did not happen fast or easily. It came through Scripture that anchored my identity, through mentors and friends who called things out in me I could not yet see, through decisions I made with trembling hands but a willing heart, and through the Holy Spirit reshaping the thoughts that once ruled me.
He has shown me that my grounding is not found in how confidently I perform or how others perceive me. It is rooted in who He is and who He says I am. I do not stand in my own strength. I stand in His steadfast love that does not waver when my emotions do.
So when old patterns show up again, I no longer spiral without hope. I remember that the presence of the struggle does not erase the progress. I remind myself that taking a step backward does not mean I have returned to the beginning. I have history with God now. He has steadied me through too many storms for me to believe that stress gets the final say.
Scripture reminds me, “He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken” (Psalm 62:6). My footing may feel unsteady, but He is not.
I am learning to pause when fear tries to convince me that everything is falling apart. I am learning to breathe when my brain spins in overreaction. I am learning to trust that the Lord did not bring me this far just to let me crumble under pressure. I am not who I used to be. And even on the days when the old version of me tries to resurface, God is faithful to remind me of the truth.
We have come too far to go back now. Not because I am strong enough, but because He is.